Well, I just spent 55 minutes stating my argument / opinion / rant on MovieWeb another movie website and had the whole thing tossed because I included a URL, without a warning or a chance to recover and remove the offending element. If only I could just as easily remove Zack Snyder from the DCEU, I could go to comic book heaven. So I will try this again without the offending link. From scratch. Here, on my own turf.
This weekend, during the opening of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, I posted an editorial as a Kickstarter campaign.(BTW, this is where I posted the link, but seeing I haven’t been playing on MovieWeb’s the other playground long enough, let try a different approach. If you check out around here you’ll find it: “When Heroes Become Villains Is There Anything Left To Believe In” as well as on Facebook. I’ll wait…
Back? Cool! Now I’ll try to take out the subversive angle and try a new approach: money as a drug.
The industry says that Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice cost $250 million [USD] to make. By the studios formula, profitability on a film starts at 2.5 times the cost of the production. This means the film has to generate a minimum of $625 million [USD] in the sale of domestic tickets or the film is considered a flop.
Now from that original chunk of cash comes the paychecks of the producer, director and talent. I was guessing, but I figured between Zack’s directors check, and his wife and production checks, it wouldn’t be too unusual for a tenth of that budget – $25 million [USD] – to of gone there. It was the figure I suggested we bribe Warner to buy out their contract in my Kickstarter-as-opinion-cum-editorial piece. But we really don’t have to make a pledge to Warner and pay them that amount of money to get Snyder and Company removed. All we have to do is move the movie junky monkey from our shoulders and move it to Warner’s back.
So, if you are unhappy with Zack Snyder and Co, and you want to send Warner to rehab, don’t feed the monkey. And I don’t mean just the ticket monkey. Don’t feed the merchandise monkey. Don’t buy the cereal monkey. Don’t by either the graphic or literary monkey. Don’t buy the tee-shirt monkey. And for Highfather’s sake, don’t buy the R-rated media release monkey (Besides, as R-rated superhero movies go, buy Deadpool when it comes out. Not only is it a better movie than whatever clips they plan on adding to a “goddamn this is too long a movie as it is”, but you could buy two copies and send one to Warner, just to make a point). Because as much as superhero movies are a drug to us fans, profits are the drug of Holli Would.
To continue with this drug dealing meta, everyone should know the drug dealers moto: “The first one (Nolan’s trilogy) is free. The second one (Every DC TV Universe show superhero show on the network – “Arrow”/”Flash”/”LoT”/”Supergirl”) is on me, but from there, you mofos are gonna pay like any other junkie on the street.
And why are the DCTVU drug so damn sweet? Because it’s dealers actually turn out the best high money can buy, and they know the difference between the uncut shit and the stepped on shit because they know their shit; they’ve been hooked on it for years.
Even the Crown Prince of Cinematic Cannabis, Kevin Smith, talking about his directing The Flash episode (last stand alone episode before the two-hour season ender, sked for late May) as such a high that if he had known earlier, he would of done the glass teat over the silver screen. He talked about how Greg Berlanti, Marc Guggenheim and Andrew Kreisberg, with the support of their production crew, turn out motion picture quality shit in a nine-day growing cycle where the big boys, with the big equipment, take nine months.
So, if you want the best Justice League of America shit, money can buy, fresh off the Canadian plains, get the cruel and unusual punishment dealers cartel off the streets and bring in some guys who know and love their shit. And don’t be afraid to borrow from the Marvel triad to make it happen.
Josh Whedon, after all he did for Marvel, didn’t end up getting a chair at the big table with Kevin Feige when Disney’s Alan Horn sent Isaac “Ike” Perlmutter to the south-side; maybe Warner’ Diane Nelson might be able to offer him a better deal hanging out with Geoff Johns; he always seemed to get along with females in this business.
Want some special in the fighting moves and not just enhanced CGI? Those guys over at Daredevil might be able to come over and – for a price – show the JLA a few moves you’ve never seen before.
The bottom line: if you want the best quality shit on the market, it doesn’t come from the guys who make their business the business of dealing. You get it from the guys who plant the shit, nurture the shit, grow with the shit and know its the best shit on the market because they live, breath and aren’t afraid to inhale the shit. And if you want that quality of shit, tell the kingpin’s of Warner “I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE BOGUS SHIT!”.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS SINCE ORIGINAL POST
Since my original post as a letter on MovieWeb, when/if the two JLA movies are done, William Morris Endeavor co-CEO Patrick Whitesell disclosed this morning in the Hollywood Reporter, via Entertainment Weekly, that Ben Affleck has written his own Batman film (“It’s pretty cool.”) for him to star and to direct himself in. Hell, by that time he’ll know his Mac well enough, he’ll probably do his own special effects.
As I stated earlier, Deadpool cost (today’s latest numbers) $58 million [USD] and made $132.7 million [USD] in its opening weekend; it needed $145 million [USD] to break even, which it did on its 4th day of release.
Batman v Superman cost $250 million [USD] and did $170 million [USD] in its opening weekend; it needs $625 million [USD] to break even, and the Monday box office only made another $15 million [USD] on Monday – it’s still $440 million [USD] to go.
Assuming that the number of theaters stays the same, a normal drop in box office gross from the first weekend to the second would be 40%. A drop of greater than 60% indicates a weak future performance.
In this case, anything below a 15% drop – anything around $145 million [USD] for this weekend and Zack may have dodged the bullet. If it does $100 million [USD], (the traditional 40% drop) Warner might be okay, but the movie has had such a divided opinion, Zack going have to pull some magic batshit out of his pants to be cool.
But if it does anything less than that and the studio is going to be screwed ’cause they got a lot of play-or-pay contracts floating on all those actors. Normally, a new director, a new cast, and Warner will have to pay the old before they hire the new.
2ND ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
According to Anthony D’Alessandro of Deadline.com, “Batman v Superman” is now targeting a $58 to $60 million [USD] box office for its second weekend, here in the U.S., with a shot a $554 million [USD] worldwide.
Warner Bros. International is quick to point out that the film has “already spanked a string of Marvel titles” such as Ant-Man [$519.3 million USD], Thor [$449.3 million USD ], Captain America [$370.6 million USD] and Wolverine [$373.1 million USD] as well as DC’s own Batman Begins [$374.2 million USD], and Snyder’s own Man of Steel [$668 million USD].
“BvS’ second domestic frame decline is between -64% and -65%, while its Friday is set to drop between -77% to -79% or $17.5M-$18.5M. Why so steep?” reports D’Alessandro. “Last Friday’s figure included $27.7M worth of Thursday previews. Current theater count for BvS, superpowered by Imax, RealD, 4DX, 70MM, grows from 4,242 to 4,256.” D’Alessandro is quick to point out that the “best pre-summer second weekend” was held by Warner’s American Sniper with its $64.6 million [USD].
“With a cume to date of $209.07M, BvS’ first week is the 11th best and has been jogging 1.6% behind 2013’s Iron Man 3, which grossed $212.4M in its first seven days. That threequel finaled at $409M. Last night (Friday, March 31, 2016), BvS took in $7.7M in first place, down 4% from Wednesday, at 4,242 theaters. As far as best Thursdays in March go, 2013’s G.I. Joe Retaliation holds that title with $10.5 million [USD].
“The conversation on social about BvS” claims D’Alessandro, “has been explosive. First, the SMU has grown over the last week from 738.8M to 756.4M (comprised of 37M FB fans, 8.8M Twitter, 109.2M FB views and 595.5M Youtube views. Since the movie opened, Ben Affleck has added over 50K fans & followers to both Facebook and Twitter while Wonder Woman Gal Gadot has surged by 100K fans in the last week, and 200K on Instagram alone. The Sad Affleck satirical video has clocked 20.9M views alone, resonating both with his fans and the pic’s haters.”
#30#
Sour Milk From A Glass Teat 
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